Trying not to screw things up

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Direction. I feel like I have come to a point in my life that I need more guidance. I am a 29 year old receptionist. Not that there is anything wrong with the job that I have, but I expected to have finished collage by now married and had a kid. Well I am partially there. I am engaged to my boyfriend of 11 years and we have a beautiful little girl who is now 5 years old. He is also a student a Chemistry major at that very intelligent, but juggling school and work at the same time as well as trying to raise a child is hard work. Parenting is a full time job all on it's own.

As parents we are constantly trying not to mess up our children permanently. Myself growing up had a horrible childhood. I guess I am just in panic because I have come so far and trying not to mess up my little girl the way my parents did to me. Although I am not on drugs and drinking my self into a coma thinking it will fix everything I am trying to work hard and keep everything together for my daughter. I want her to look at me with respect knowing when she reaches a certain age her mom did everything in her power to educate her and to raise her right! My fiance and I work very hard to make sure she gets everything she needs in life. To start off with she has two parents whom love her very much and will do anything to see her happy. We as a family are truly blessed to have one another he keeps me strong when I am down and I in turn do the same for him. Our little girl will come home with questions about our relationship. There are not to many kids in her class who have both of their parents together. Right now we are trying to prepare her for kindergarten this fall. But goes back to me and the hubby's schedule another juggling act we will soon have to prepare for. Since when did kindergarten only do less than half a day? This is insane how are we as working parents suppose to be able to work full time to support our family and manage the fact school isn't even a full time deal anymore?

I am not sure if I had mentioned this in my previous post but I am fallowing my dream and trying to become a published writer. So when I am not working and have free time I am writing. Just about anything and everything that comes to mind. Not that I needed to add anything else to my crazy plate of life with working and my family. I am trying to not lose myself an wanted to do something that I love while I had down time that wouldn't cost me anything. Being parents we are always trying to budget and trying to find things to do that wont cost us to much. Just so happens I love to write and have this crazy dream of some day walking up to a store and finding someone buying something I poured my heart and soul into. So for now because I am trying my damnedest not to screw my child up I swear not to drink away my issues with anything but coffee and try to set a good example of fallowing your dreams no matter how silly they may seem to someone else.


Life is hard and is always testing us. So I am trying to keep positive and know that all our craziness will die down and pay off for our family one day. No Matter how hard life gets I will always be grateful for my loving little family of 3.

P.s. No matter how old we are everyone needs a little guidance every now and then. What appears to look perfect from the outside is not always the case. We all have our troubles but it is learning how to deal with them in a healthy constructive manner!


No comments:

Post a Comment